From 78f4bc07ab195e0d2e7848a70311682dd752f1a7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: nathan Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2025 08:33:20 -0600 Subject: Dialectical spaghetti --- org/blog/articles.xml | 7 +++ org/blog/articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml | 92 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 2 files changed, 99 insertions(+) create mode 100644 org/blog/articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml (limited to 'org') diff --git a/org/blog/articles.xml b/org/blog/articles.xml index 9f7ebe3..24b0626 100644 --- a/org/blog/articles.xml +++ b/org/blog/articles.xml @@ -1,4 +1,11 @@ + + Dialectical spaghetti + dialectical-spaghetti + Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:32:35 GMT + articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml + + The death of counterculture death-of-couterculture diff --git a/org/blog/articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml b/org/blog/articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..da3861a --- /dev/null +++ b/org/blog/articles/dialectical-spaghetti.xml @@ -0,0 +1,92 @@ +
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+ I woke up in the night and now its morning. I sip my coffee even though its + night to me. Outside the sun is rising and in my garage the turntable is + blasting rock 'n roll. I open the door so I can look at the morning sky + while I sip my strong black coffee. Life just been a tunnel of depression + with no light at the end. If I look close enough I see a light still. Is it + real or a trick of the eye? I dont fucking know! Though regardless it + brings a sense of hope. The summer is over before I could even blink. The + night I spent surfing the interwebs, writing emails, and listening to + records. Lately I been really digging softer music since I been a + emotional mess. When I was younger I didnt care for songs about love + though now I eat up that shit like a girl going through her + period. Something about most peoples deeper feelings seem builtin. Like + they were born with some electric chemical response. I was born a fucking + meat robot. Death and pain didnt faze me. All I really cared for was + exploring the world and engaging my interests. The second something got in + the way was when I started caring. That happened quite a lot. Turns out + society wants people who are smart enough to do what society wants but not + smart enough to question it. Understanding not just the what but the why is + my reason for existing. Over time these deeper thoughts about conscious and + the universe softened me up and showed me to care for others instead of + view them as npcs. Ok, so on this site in the reading corner check out my + book concept Rat Race. No link because fuck you (: +

+ Ok, so all the normal feelings we all know are what I call high level + feelings. They are all the result of association. The brain is a + association machine. It uses signal pathing to associate different + types of information. Think of it like a rendering pipe line sending binary + data through different components to turn raw data into a 3d scene. The + brain works similar but on a electronic chemical level and in a more + flexible manner. Think of it like turing complete. Well anyways feelings + start out on a lower level. They start out not as the names and faces we + gave them but as associated information. As the brain looks and listens to + the world around it that information gets routed through a association + network to compare concepts and match them up to memories. +

+ If you dare to trace your way back through the network, figure out not just + the what but the why you may not always like what you find. There is a + cultural induced association where knowing how something happens makes it + more bland. Nihilism, science, evolution... are all associated with killing + the magic of the world. This doesnt have to be though. Some of Darwin's + favorite animals to study were ones most people found ugly and boring. He + spent his time on islands most found ugly and boring. Ugly and boring wasnt + how he saw it. There is much beauty to find in more abstract things. Even + ugly and boring animals have amazing stories behind them. Surface level + thinking is one of the biggest things enforcing hierarchy and upholding the + dictators of the world. Democracy depends on people who know what the fuck + is going on. Everyone wants to vote for the loud, good looking, cults of + personality while the people who can actually run a government dont even + make it into the race. Many people depend on religion to feel greater + meaning. As tough as feeling small in a large chaotic seemingly random + world can be maybe its one of the most beautiful feelings if everyone had + the heart to help each other through it instead of cover it up with lies. +

+ What sucks is when you stop associating things, when you make it through + the network only to find it was all pointless. People, places and things + break down to the components they are made up. A car breaks down to bolts + and nuts. A person breaks down to organs and cells. Soon enough your left + looking at atoms. Your stuck asking yourself "what the fuck is this fucking + atom thing?!". Universe legos indeed. Legos are made up of plastic, plastic + out of oil, oil out of dino bones... atoms. Than what the fuck are atoms?! + You drift through life with these questions floating in your mind. It + starts with why bother living when you can kill yourself. It soon turns + into why bother killing yourself if your going to die soon anyways. A life + time isnt that long. One day you will wake up in your death bed. No + memories worth looking back at, no one around to care if your dead or + alive, nothing completed and nothing to complete. Just enough nights rest. +

+ With many ideas floating around in my brain I often need something to be + happy about. I have gone off the deep end. Multiple times people online + have told me I might have schizophrenia because I guess autism, adhd, and + depression wasnt enough rolf. The voices arent that bad regardless (: Still + though, I take it with a grain of salt due to the fact my favorite author, + Kurt Vonnegut was misdiagnosed. Deep thoughts tend to blur the line between + the ideal and the material worlds due to the brain is just a dialect + between the two. I drink too much coffee (: What am I happy about you ask? + The people in this world who feel real. May be close friends or just random + people you meet in real life and online. Sometimes interactions with + strangers can be just as deep as interactions with people you have known + for years. Maybe thats the real reason everyone says "dont talk to + strangers". When your a little kid its unsafe but as you grow it turns into + a glass wall. This keeps evil systems of power in place. Enough people hate + it to take it down yet no one talks to each other. The wall protecting the + system isnt one of brick or metal. Its a social wall. +

+ Make sure to shower, brush your teeth, wash your face... Take good care of + yourself you smelly fuck! Sadly I havent been following my own + advice. Rarely do I ever follow my own advice. Anyways bye byes until next + time I write one of these (: +

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