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<article>
<p>
HO HO HO MOTHER FUCKERS! It's that time of year we all buy shit we don't
need with money we don't have. What do we do with this shit? We give it to
people who don't want it with the expectation they will also give us shit
we don't want. When spring cleaning comes along it's all going in the
trash. Santa is the big fat bourgeoisie and the elf's are child wage slaves
in third world countries controlled by foreign entities who <i>are
definitely not located in israel</i>. <b>So remember children: christmas
isn't about getting gifts, it's about socially pressuring your smelly
family into pretending to enjoy the overpriced shit you got them.</b>
<br /><br />
Christmas being a day for jesus? Shut up you fucking nerd! Back in ye old
times christmas was a time of year for people to get wasted and fuck! This
often ended in orgies and/or arson both of which were done drunker than a
sailor going through a midlife crisis. Though unlike a sailor, no
protection was used. This is how cops were invented. Aka the destroyers of
fun. They are big enough party poopers that the reason they came into
existence was to make christmas boring and now we have to suffer from them
all year long. Dam christians! Now that we can't burn cities down during
drunken orgies new christmas traditions have popped up, buying things!
<br /><br />
Remember children: christmas isn't about jesus and drunken activities you
will regret rest of the year, it's about fattening up old porky. The banks,
hollywood, and israelian missile dealers have spent all year doing great
things for you so why not give back for once? While your at it don't forgot
to donate to your local christian non-profit so poor people can be helped
under the <i>totally not peer-pressured</i> "optional" requirement of
converting.
<br /><br />
HO HO HO and marry <s>hanukkah</s> christmas!
</p>
</article>
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