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diff --git a/content/about.org b/content/about.org new file mode 100644 index 0000000..33fbae8 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/about.org @@ -0,0 +1,169 @@ +#+TITLE: ·wiikifox's den: about me +#+AUTHOR: ·marlo "wiikifox" alfonso díaz +#+LANGUAGE: en + +* principles +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: principles +:END: + +if there's a single constant in my identity, is that my identity isn't +constant. however, certain ideals have become a permanent part of me. + +** freedom +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: freedom +:END: + +freedom is the inherent right of every living being --- may it be fulfilled or +not. my freedom ends where other's start, so nothing that i do should limit what +you can, nor viceversa. + +** equity +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: equity +:END: + +equity levels the ground where we exert our freedom, acting as a countermeasure +to the inherent inequality of life. equity gives the everyone the tools they +might need to achieve what others can without them. + +** creativity +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: creativity +:END: + +creativity is the way we enjoy this level ground: when you're free from any +burden, what else is there to do but to create, and enjoy the creations of +others? art, creation, is the essence of what makes us human. + +** chaos +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: chaos +:END: + +chaos is the source of creativity, the spark that ignites the creational fire +within us, chaos is what drives a free, burdenless life. nothing lasts forever, +everything changes --- even memories do. + +** playfulness +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: playfulness +:END: + +playfulness is the embrace of chaos, the acceptance that life doesn't make +sense, and doesn't need to. do what makes you happy, let others do what makes +them happy. enjoy life, since we don't know what comes next. + +* the story of my life +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: life-story +:END: + +i was born in the city of ·cienfuegos, ·cuba, on march of _2009_. however, i'd say +that my life started much, much later, somewhere between september and november +of _2023_. and why? --- you might ask. well, it's not a short story. + +my family was your typical nuclear family: me, my mother, and my father. my +father was a reckless man, gave his life to pleasure without fear of +consequences. he lost his right leg to smoking before i was born, some sort of +arterial disease. his left leg followed years later, when i was _9_ or _10_ years +old. his heart was next, when i was _11_, as he was driving home after visiting +me --- my parents were divorced at that point, and i lived with my mother and +stepfather in another city. + +my mother, on the other hand, was a very different kind of person. she was --- +and still is to this day -- a ·jehovah's witness, and raised me as such. if you +haven't heard about ·jehovah's witnesses before, you just need to know that +they're a high control religion, or --- as anyone who's left likes to call it +--- a *cult*. + +** growing up as a ·jehovah's witness +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: jws +:END: + +being raised in a cult made it take control over my entire life pretty +fast. where even thought is regulated, there's no room for individuals, only the +hive mind of "brothers and sisters" that comprise the community. i spent my +childhood behind a mask, which i eventually forgot i was wearing. + +when i first got my hands on the internet, i started by following the advice +given at the time by /the society/ (the headquarters of ·jehovah's witnesses): +avoiding contact with anyone i didn't know personally (i.e. other witnesses), +online discussion spaces (i.e. forums and the like), /apostate/ material +(i.e. anything talking against the religion), among other things. but +i grew curious, i started to ask myself /what/ was beyond the garden wall, which +led me to try out social media for the first time. + +i found a place in the furry fandom, which slowly challenged the queerphobia +that is characteristic in the cult. *cognitive dissonance* started itching. + +** a ray of light +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: light +:END: + +i stumbled upon free software and its ideals pretty fast, and under a year of +owning my first computer i already was running linux and writting software, i +was 13 or 14 years old. computers have always drawn my attention, and it really +felt liberating to use my computer on my own terms. i migrated from ·twitter to +the ·fediverse, before dropping social media altogether. social media overall +was and is a source of stress for me, but it gave me the closest i had to real +world connections --- outside of the cult, that is. *cognitive dissonance* started +burning. + +** ·unix.dog: the end of the beggining +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: unix.dog +:END: + +one day, scrolling through some profiles, i found a link to something i had +never heard about before: a pubnix, a shared unix system; i found a link to +[[https://unix.dog][·unix.dog]]. i filled in the form, submitted my application, and a few weeks +later, i was in. + +·unix.dog offered an ·xmpp server, where i joined and met other members of the +pubnix. i started to branch out to other places on the network, meeting people +that changed my life a lot. i remember a conversation with someone in a group +chat which impacted me a lot, even if i refused to believe it did then. he was +surprised to find a ·jehovah's witness on a furry ·xmpp groupchat. i agreed to +have my beliefs challenged, and he didn't fail at it. i heard for the first time +of all the atrocities the ·watchtower organization had made, and very good +arguments against my whole belief system. i ignored him at first, as my "bible +trained concience" told me to do; but the seed was planted. *cognitive +dissonance* started hurting. + +** cognitive dissonance +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: cognitive-dissonance +:END: + +what does it mean? cognitive dissonance happens when you hold different, +opposing thoughts and beliefs in your mind. for me, i "knew" i was in the /one +true religion™/, but also knew all the stuff that was wrong with it. i "knew" +that homosexuality was a bad thing, but also was friends with lots of queer +people. i "knew" that the ·watchtower society was always right, but also knew +all the times that they've backtracked in their decisions several times. i +"knew" a lot of stuff, while knowing a lot of other stuff. + +cognitive dissonance is a feeling that lingers in the back of your head, and +grows stronger and stronger over time. i slowly started to question everything, +to be more skeptical towards everything. i realized that the "truth" that i +believed in my whole life was nothing but a scam, a very cruel and elaborate +scam. + +with time, pain and the great help of my friends, i deconstructed my beliefs, my +sexuality, and at last: my gender. + +** ·queer-spark.org: current affairs +:PROPERTIES: +:CUSTOM_ID: queer-spark.org +:END: + +if unix.dog helped me find my freedom, [[https://www.queer-spark.org/en/][·queer spark]] taught me what to do with +it, it taught me how to help others to find it too. i learned about ·queer spark +when it was still called ·jabbering queer, a small ·xmpp server for queer +folks. it was a safe space to deconstruct and vent, a nice place to hang out. as +a sample of gratitude, now i help as a volunteer in the project with any help i +can offer, i'd love to see it thrive even more. |